Do you often find yourself saying or doing things that you regret? Perhaps you are fed up with people complaining about your attitude or character. Or you can’t figure out why people say you have a bad attitude when all you do is try to be your level best. We all want to be known as good people and of good reputation. It’s every person’s desire to be liked/loved and accepted. But sometimes, all you get are complaints and negative feedback. That’s because your thoughts are not private.
I’m pretty sure that this is not the first time you are hearing the saying, “you are what you think”. Well, I’m just confirming and consolidating it. Psychologists say negative thoughts often dominate positive thoughts on a scale of 3:1. So for every1 positive thought, you entertain, you’re likely to harbor 3 negative thoughts. That is why it seems so hard to think positive all the time. It needs work and practice just like all good habits do.
The secret is to work on your mind.
Thoughts are energy
Negative thoughts create negative energy around you no matter how much you may attempt to conceal what you really think. In my culture, we call it a “bad omen”. You will hear people saying, that person has a bad omen.
Or, that person has a good omen simply because that person has positive energy around them. Their positivity creates a beautiful magnetic force around them. Haven’t you ever heard someone say, I like that person naturally, I just don’t know why. Your thoughts are not private at all, they will show in the way you speak, act, the way you carry yourself, your reactions, and your posture.
Thoughts are not really private
The things you think about might be in your head hidden from public speculation. But at one point or another, they won’t be private anymore. Usually, that point is when you are frustrated, angry, stressed, irritated, tired, or intoxicated.
You may burst out in anger or blab out obscenities in your frenzied state. Or you may act violently or inappropriately. Your facial expressions or non-verbal cues may also give your thoughts away.
How can you live a life with little or no regrets?
The power lies in your mind. Some famous writer said, what gets your mind has absolute power over you, He also said the mind is your most valuable asset. So the answer lies in you working on your mind. Below are some ways in which you can do this.
Channel your thoughts towards positivity
Thinking positive thoughts all the time is pretty hard, and we all fall prey to negative thinking at one point in time. This is because we are all victims of bad occurrences and we are aware of the evils surrounding humanity right now. So the only way to survive negativity is to channel your mind towards positive thoughts. Deliberately replace negative or bad thoughts with good positive thoughts. Or simply re-route them. You have to continuously make an effort.
Avoid thinking bad things about yourself
In most cases, self-loathing or negative self-thoughts originate from one’s upbringing and childhood experiences. These may include things that you were made to believe about yourself or things that someone may have done to you. However, those things no longer have power over you so don’t entertain them through your thoughts. Work on self-love and self-esteem to have a better outlook on yourself.
Don’t judge yourself based on a few minor or major failures in your life. Stop judging yourself completely. Most of the time that you feel people are thinking ill of you, it’s actually you thinking ill of yourself. Learn to forgive yourself and develop compassion towards yourself.
Don’t entertain anyone that makes you feel bad about yourself or that tells you bad things about who you are. Let go of toxic people and toxic relationships.
Avoid thinking bad things about the people around you
Strive to focus more on the good attributes of people than the bad ones. Notice the little good things and overlook petty mistakes.
Tendencies that may lead you to think bad things about others include being judgemental, negative assumptions, blame tendencies, stereotyping, thinking you are always right, etc. You have to avoid these tendencies if you’re to avoid thinking bad things about others.
Also having arguments with someone in your head or telling someone off in your imaginary world may lead you into trouble. The day you will be angry, stressed, or drunk, you will offload all that you had to say during that one-sided unfair fight.
Learn to rebuke yourself once you start gossiping about someone with your mind. The information will definitely leak out at some point in an exaggerated manner and you will drown in shame.
Change your outlook on life
Bad things happen to everyone so don’t stress about every little mishap. The world is going in a whole new direction laced with multiple uncertainties and uncertain doom. But worrying won’t help you. It will only make you a cranky ingrate. Don’t stress over things in life that you have no control over or that you can’t change. Practice positive thinking about every situation. Try to see the good out of everything around you and focus on it.
If you are always complaining in your mind it will surely show in your attitude. It’s impossible to do anything right when you are unhappy. People usually avoid those known for complaining because they appear to never be satisfied in life. Be content with what you have and where you are even as you strive for the best.
Filter what you allow in your head
Garbage in- garbage out; this is some famous saying. What you watch, what you listen to, the voices you entertain, all affect what your thoughts become. Sometimes, our own voices are the garbage in. The things we tell ourselves about life, other people, and ourselves maybe the garbage. This may also apply to our beliefs. This is the reason why we are advised to get rid of negative and toxic people around us.
Be more grateful
There are so many good things and good people that surround you. But negativity won’t let you see all that. So you have to make an effort to develop a heart of gratitude. Negative thinking will prevent you from noticing the goodness that surrounds you.
No matter how low someone bends for you, you will never notice if you are all negative. Gratitude doesn’t mean saying thank you repeatedly. It means acting grateful, treasuring your life, and the lives of those around you. Being grateful means nurturing yourself, your relationships, and your surroundings. Being grateful means going the extra mile to make life enjoyable for yourself and those around you. It also means being content deep down your heart with everything you have.
Thank you for reading, remember, your thoughts are not really private because they will reflect in everything you do including your everyday choices. I value your feedback, let me know what you think about this article.