NEVER GO BACK

Every now and then I face rejection
Probably because of failure to attain certain standards
Totally human, I feel broken
But I will never look back…

Never go back to cuddling yourself in self pity
To feeling worthless or insignificant
To smacking your head asking
Why things have to be like this…
Why life has to treat you like this…

Never return to nights of crying
Nights of drenching the pillow with tears
Tossing and turning wondering why-
Why life can’t take you as you are
Why the one you long for just can’t see you.
Wondering what you are doing wrong.

Never again embrace the days of torment
A heavy heart – phone in hand
Waiting for that person to call or text
Hoping for that person to reach out
Anxieties wrenching your heart as you wait
Sweat drenching your sleeves- heart pounding
Just waiting for that precious “yes”

Never again despise yourself for being different
Blaming yourself for other people’s actions
Hurting for failure of getting them to love you
No matter how hard you try
loathing yourself for failing to find acceptance
No matter how much you go out of your way

Never go back to frequent depression episodes
Just because somehow you just don’t belong
Never go back to anxiety attacks
Just because you don’t get what you crave from people
Never again believe you are the black spot in the white
Just because you reason differently somehow

Never go back to stressing over what you must do
What you must say to get approval
Or look at the popular kind and wish you were they
When people hurt you never blame yourself
Or say you deserve it because you are a wrong seed
NO!!!

Just never go back to accepting pain as part of your life.

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