It’s everyone’s dream to love and to be loved. The world today has become fast-paced, advanced and the language of love has changed. Just a decade ago wooing a woman was not as slinky as it is today. Most women of this generation have money and fun on their minds to be provided by a fast-paced man. However, there are a few sweet perhaps shy men that cannot keep up with this new frenzy. And there are a few women out there looking for such a man. And so to help such men, I have compiled 14 ways of winning the woman of your dreams.
You may want a woman for two things;
- To have a wonderful time with (casual sex)
- To have a meaningful long term relationship with (that might even end in marriage)
Well, if your purpose is option 1, sorry, this post may not be for you. This is for all the sweet sensitive men who just never seem to get their game right enough to get “the girl” for long term purposes.
Why would I write such a post? Well, to begin with, love is the cornerstone of life. As human beings, we thrive on love. It is who we are. Also love and belonging rank third on Maslow’s hierarchy of basic human needs. While those needs seem to be independent and occurring as stages, you will find that they all feed into each other. One is not complete without love. We all need that reliable and stable someone that allows u to be ourselves without being judged or ridiculed. Someone to call your own.
So you have identified the woman of your dreams, how on earth to win her?
Note that these tips and any other tips you may find anywhere are generic. You must tailor all advice to the woman that you are after. Avoid wooing a woman in a dogmatic kind of way.
Work on your self-esteem
To be honest with you, these14 ways of winning the woman of your dreams may not help you at all if you have low self-esteem. Or if you have a negative perception of yourself. Negativity just has a peculiar way of destroying all the good things of life, including good valuable men like you. Boost your self-esteem, you can read about how to do that here. You can also subscribe to this blog or simply stick around for tips on how to boost your self-esteem scheduled for the future.
Do your homework
The image says it all so I won’t bore you with any more detail. However, you must know that these are the qualities that most women look for in a man. Of course, that’s if she is a keeper. If she’s up for fun or money, she won’t care less if you are a rogue. So while you are searching for that special woman, ensure that your homework in terms of your qualities as a man is done well. Otherwise, all your efforts may end up as dust in the wind.
Do a background research
I remember a song way back in the days of my youth with the chorus saying, “I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, don’t care what you do, as long as you love me”. Well, you should care, especially if you are a keeper. You just have to care! Beauty is only skin deep, but an integral character is worth more than a crown of jewels.
Find out if is she’s dating, whom she dated before you, what she does, the circles in which she runs, what ticks her clock, and if she is worth the chase after all the information you have gathered. Of course, don’t get all this information from her. It’s advisable to study her from a distance before closing in for the catch. However, be careful not to draw conclusions based on rumors.
Friendship is the best way to get to know someone better by studying her mannerisms, character, and behavior. I know this is old school, but I still stand for it. Simply because placing passion before friendship will compromise the strength of your relationship in the future. Truth be told, we meet attractive and appealing people every single day. But friendship is a bond that is built with time and patience. However, don’t be friends for too long without making your move.
Being friends before getting intimate also protects your reputation. Suppose you rush into getting close to her then a few months down the line you realize she is not worth it? Being the good man that you are you may fear breaking her heart, thus trapping yourself in a toxic relationship. If you leave and get close to another woman, you get yourself the reputation of a player, of which you are not. You are merely searching for a suitable mate.
This is very important. If you pretend to be what you are not, your relationship is likely not to last. Because no one can pretend forever. The day your true colors will show, she will either say you have changed, or she will realize that you are a phony. Either way, she is likely to leave you. Nobody wants to be cheated into love. You might as well be yourself, if she doesn’t like who you are, she might not be for you.
Not every woman appreciates a blatant man. It’s common knowledge that a man needs his sexual needs to be fulfilled but there’s a time and place for everything. Besides, a good woman of integrity appreciates a man that exhibits self-control. If sex keeps popping up ever too often in your vocabulary, she might think you are a pervert.
Have self- confidence
Have you ever bought goods that the seller is doubting? Mostly, sellers recommend their goods so highly even when they are selling rubbish. Not that you are such… I know you have gotten my point. Believe in yourself. If she doesn’t warm up to you, she might not be for you and don’t feel bad about it. And even if she turns you down, don’t lose your confidence.
This works well if you did your background research. Playing smart requires you to play the game according to the way the girl may want it. At least half of the time. What do I mean? For instance, you discovered while observing her that she likes a slow and steady game with a minimum amount of physical intimacy. In that case, give her a lot of quality time spent outdoors or simply cuddling- strictly no fondling or anything inappropriate.
Or you discover during your background search or study that she is a materialistic kind of girl. You would have to have a good pocket to spend ever so often to win her over. Or you discovered that she loves to talk, prepare your mind psychologically to love listening to her stories without getting bored, etc.
The bottom line is, study your potential woman, get to know what drives her engine, and if it’s morally right, go an extra mile to meet her needs.
Show her that she is your priority
You can do this by making time for her. Just be there for her whenever she needs you. Don’t be the “full of excuses” kind of guy or the “ever busy” kind. If your eye is set on her, make her your priority, not an afterthought.
Know what you want
Before setting out mate hunting, set your standards. Which should be met at least 60% to be on the safe side. Knowing what you want will protect you from chasing every skirt that flounces your way.
Also, set your standards according to your capabilities. Don’t go for a material-oriented woman just to call her a gold digger when you fail to meet her demands. Set your standards. Pursue someone within your own lane, someone you won’t fail to handle.
Have a vision
Not only towards your love life but have a vision for your life as a whole. She will definitely pick it as you interact. Make big plans for the future and take steps to see them through. Women want to be with a man that is visionary and offers a secure future. Discuss your plans about the future with her, be well informed so she sees that you know what you are talking about. I’m not asking you to lie, I’m asking you to start thinking and talking big. Also, be interested in her future developments.
Be her hero once in a while
You don’t need superpowers or a stash of cash to be a hero. I remember when my husband and I were acquaintances, he would often talk to me about life issues, advising and guiding me in a lot of things. Honestly, I became so dependant on him psychologically that I think he advised me into marrying him, hehehe. I’m still glad I took his advice.
I’m not saying to con or trick her. Offer her the kind of solidarity that no one else does. My husband made me feel safe even when he was merely a friend by the way he spoke into my life. Not by imposing. Sometimes, I never even took his advice but it would turn out that he was right, so I learned to trust him. So much so that when he asked for my hand in marriage, I didn’t stutter. He had proven his worth. I knew my future and that of my forthcoming kids was safe in his hands.
You should have knowledge of a woman’s needs at various age periods and pursue the one that suits you. For instance, a woman above the age of 25 will date with the aim of settling down. A woman below the age of 22 may not really be in a hurry.
So if the woman you are pursuing is within the settling down age, don’t make remarks such as, I’m thinking of going to school, I’m planning to build a house for my parents, I’m currently pursuing my sports career, I have a long to-do list before settling down, etc.
Make remarks like, I’m thinking of settling down sooner than later, I love children and wouldn’t mind some of my own with a good stable woman, Have you ever thought of settling down? etc.
When the timing is perfect, make your intentions known and be clear about it. Others may say, there is no perfect timing. True, because it all depends on the woman. Some women will make the work so easy for you by asking you out themselves, others will give you hints that they are ripe for the harvest. So it’s all up to you to discern depending on the female vibes.
In whatever you do, remember to be yourself. Don’t pretend to have money, to be super cool, or fun. Let her fall for the real you not a mirage. And most importantly don’t smoother her with the “I” topic all the time. Don’t talk about yourself and your family every time. Make time to really listen to her and build her up.
If you have issues with self-esteem you might need to start building your self-image. Otherwise, if you think you are not worth her attention, your desperation or negative vibes will send her off.
Hope you enjoyed this post, let me know what you think by dropping a comment below. Don’t forget to subscribe and share.